“- Well, I went home this afternoon to get some,”

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- I wish I had your emotional intelligence.

My boyfriend Razmig and I have hit a little rough patch.

- Okay. Lay it on me.

- Well, I went home this afternoon to get some,

And I found Razmig banging the fattest chick I've ever seen.

And you know, I used to weigh 800 pounds.

- Stop right there.

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