“And you know, I used to weigh 800 pounds.”

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- Okay. Lay it on me.

- Well, I went home this afternoon to get some,

And I found Razmig banging the fattest chick I've ever seen.

And you know, I used to weigh 800 pounds.

- Stop right there.

You didn't hit a rough patch. He cheated on you.

You have to dump him immediately.

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