“And turned the lights out on me when I was in the bathroom”

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Why are you doing this to us?!

I'll tell you why!

Because for seven years, you have yelled at me

And turned the lights out on me when I was in the bathroom

And written on me while I was sleeping

'Cause I was Lutz --

Dumb, old, uncool, part-Inuit, bisexual, 51-year-old Lutz.

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