“And I may have sodomized our former vice president”

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I looked the other way when my wig-based parent company

Turned a bunch of children orange.

I once claimed, "I am god" during a deposition.

And I may have sodomized our former vice president

While under the influence of some weapons-grade narcotics.

Ah... It feels good to say that out loud, actually.

That one was weighing on me.

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