“If your child is a terrific hockey player and a gifted flautist,”

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- Even babies know that's creepy. - Of course.

Don't put little notes in their lunch bag that say, "Mommy's watching you."

- People find those things. - I bet you behaved yourself, though.

If your child is a terrific hockey player and a gifted flautist,

Don't make them play the national anthem on the flute

- in front of their teammates. - Your mother did that?

Now she wants to move in with me. I can't have that, Lemon.

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